Parenting in today’s world can feel overwhelming even on a typical Tuesday; but when a caregiver and child are thrust into a traumatic event it becomes unimaginable to see the way through. Ellbee knows that firsthand as they reflect on the healing that’s happened over the last three years of therapeutic work with Washburn Center therapists.
“I don’t know what I would’ve done without Washburn Center – I felt so alone; so lost,” Ellbee reflects recently after they closed a chapter of healing in Washburn’s Family focused program.
The family was referred to Washburn Center from a local hospital system when little Avery was two years old and the family experienced a sudden separation, the first in their early life together.
“It affected both of us so much – for me it shattered my confidence as a parent and for her it disrupted her ability to see me as her guide – her adult,” Ellbee shares.
When they arrived at Washburn Center, their world was shaken, and they felt judged and uncertain about who could help.
“I knew what I wanted but didn’t know how to get there; the team at Washburn Center tapped into both me and Avery – our feedback loop and how one affects the other. It was amazing. They gave equal support to both of us – meeting us where we were – including coming to our apartment… we wouldn’t have been able to do the work without that.”
“We had people asking me what I valued as a parent… and what she wanted as a child. They incorporated that into the work with both of us,” Ellbee opens up. “The lack of judgement on my parenting was palpable.”
“It’s super easy in today’s world to judge parenting; so to be in that space was the opposite of anything I had experienced. It was special and hear ‘what do you think?’ and ‘what do you want?’ It was one of the first times that I was given the right to have an opinion as a parent”
“It was an environment of cooperation and hope.“
“Reflecting back on the journey, I feel safe; my child feels safe,” a relieved Ellbee shares. “Before loud noises would startle her… now they don’t. Now, I’ll set a boundary and she’ll say “ok”. Watching her change was …. Magic… more than that… it was pure healing and compassion.”
I can now be with her in her emotions; I couldn’t do that before because I hadn’t learned it… the team at Washburn Center will teach you that… without making you feel embarrassed or ashamed. I didn’t feel alone anymore.”
“Now, I realize that these healing moments are victories (some may be little) but only I see them. Gone are the push pull moments where I could feel her wanting my support but not ready to accept it… Big feelings aren’t so scary. She can have those feelings without her body, feeling and words getting too big. She can say: “I’m really mad”. Name it, talk it out and then run off and on to her next adventure.
I see her sensitivity blooming; she sings songs with expression – sadness, happiness, all the feelings. We start our days with affirmation: I can have big feelings and I know what to do with them.
“It’s such a big deal. I’m so incredibly grateful.”